It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
