yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
