I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
