I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We got so high we made milksteak
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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