wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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