Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
