My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish i was in the wii world.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
