This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize