I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
