Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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