You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Acid is not a monday night drug
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This house was built for laser tag.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
