The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so that wasnt chicken after all
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize