no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
