just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize