Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
