My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
