my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
