Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
