I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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