I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
