I just made out with a guy for $7.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My liver just had a heart attack.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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