so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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