she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
