That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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