his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
