No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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