Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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