Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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