just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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