I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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