So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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