Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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