She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
