she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize