He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
