there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
