You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize