Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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