last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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