I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
