lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
