she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
