Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
