Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
