I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
