Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
