Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
