Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
