It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
