OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
