I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
