he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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