Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
