I'm laying in your front yard are you home
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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