that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
