I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you win again, gameday.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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