Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
