If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
