Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
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By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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