Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You may now shotgun with the bride
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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