Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
