U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your cock deserves a montage
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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