You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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