She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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