Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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