Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize